From the Outside, Looking In - Part 2

The dialogue continues:

Universe

What is generosity?

Me

Well, uh, (clearing throat), um, Dictionary.com Unabridged says:

gen·er·os·i·ty
1.
readiness or liberality in giving.
2.
freedom from meanness or smallness of mind or character.
3.
a generous act: We thanked him for his many generosities.
4.
largeness or fullness; amplitude.

Universe

Well, I can see that the teach to test strategy worked well for you throughout your education but, no. That is not what I mean. What is YOUR definition. What does generosity feel like?

Me

[chewing gum, rolling eyes and sighing in a teenager-esque way]

I don't know.

Universe

[mature, patient and loving without a hint of annoyance]

Perhaps it is time to make it personal.

I am coming to the realization that I do not yet fully possess the virtue of generosity. The generosity and amazing acts of kindness in a country where money is hard to earn overwhelms me. I will try to paint a picture of the lessons in generosity available to me here but I fear it will be more of a botched paint-by-number than an Orozco masterpiece.

A couple of days ago, Jaydn and I went to the market. The girls and I are frequently offered free breads and cookies as we pass by the puestas and today was no exception. Our last stop in the market was the tortilleria. As we stood waiting for our order of tortillas to be complete we watched a woman skillfully form the dough, flatten it into perfect circles with a wooden tool, and then cook them on a grill directly in front of us. Freshness like this isn't always speedy. Jaydn and I had an arm full of goods from the market, including a litre of freshly squeezed orange/carrot juice. I set it down on the counter for the duration of our wait. Once our tortillas were done, we headed for home. I didn't realize that I had forgotten my fresh juice until the woman who made my tortillas walked two blocks from the market to carry it to me. I'm not even sure how she found me. Her tortelleria was extremely busy but she took the time to locate me two block away from the indoor market where she works to make sure I had my juice. Albertson's never does that. I stupidly tried to offer her a tip, which she refused. I hope I didn't offend her. Later, I wished I had just given her a big hug. She was generous with her time, concern, and kindness.

Later that night, I met my friend Lorenza and her two adult sons, and her one daughter, age 10, at Cafe San Pedro for conversation practice in both English and Spanish. Maria, an employee of Waldos (the $1 store), and her thirteen year old daughter Brenda also joined us. Most people I meet are eager to learn and practice English and often propose similar meetings. No one is hatefully yelling "If you're going to be in my country learn Spanish." Instead, I repeatedly hear "Teach me." We might very well have a country filled with bilingual people if we changed our mantra. However, I learned a lot more about life in Mexico than I did Spanish this night.

I suggested Cafe San Pedro because it is very close to my house and I don't have a car or confidence in my ability to navigate the buses. I was sort of thoughtless with this suggestion. It is a cafe that seems to be designed for tourists. It is much like a Starbucks or another upscale coffee shop. It isn't cheap, especially, I would presume on the average Mexican salary.

Lorenza and her kids all ordered frappachino-like drinks and I had an Italian Soda. Maria and Brenda didn't get anything, which I felt bad about afterward. During the conversation, I learned that Brenda loves studying geography. I learned that Maria lost both of her parents when she was a very young girl. She and her daughter seem to be quite alone in the world. She has a sister in California and would like to learn English in hopes of moving there one day. A very difficult proposition in light of the immigration debate.

I learned that Lorenza's entire family works in the bread baking business, with the exception of her oldest son, Ivan. Ivan would like to become a veterinarian but apparently, there aren't enough schools to meet the demand for young Mexicans wanting to train for professional careers. The University of Guadalajara is a government school that is basically free but can't possibly accommodate all of those wanting to attend. Lorenza told me there are are spots for less than half of the applicants. Ivan would like to learn English in hopes of going to the United States to go to school. I could tell that Lorenza thought that this would be much harder for him to accomplish than he thinks (going to the U.S. for school, that is). Another thing we take for granted - the relative freedom of choice we have for education and professional training.

I also asked Lorenza for her opinion as to why the economy of Mexico is so much worse than that of the United States. Mexico is a big, beautiful, diverse country with just as many, if not more natural resources than the U.S. She said "That is easy. The government is corrupt and takes the money." I'm not sure if it is that simple but I'm sure it is a part of the problem.

After about an hour, Maria and Brenda needed to leave. Lorenza, her children and I talked for a bit longer. It was time to say good-bye and I asked for the check. Lorenza said "I pay." She said it with such graciousness that I felt it would have been extremely rude in that moment to turn down her offer. I humbly thanked her. I didn't realize what a big gesture this was. That is, until I went home and did the math. My Italian Soda was probably around $2 USD (20 Pesos), about 2% of her weekly salary. The entire evening was probably 1/4 of her weekly salary. These encounters at the University of Perspective Check - Tlaquepaque, Mexico are beginning to personally define generosity for me. I have to ask myself if I have ever given to the point of my own discomfort or personal sacrifice. The answer is a shameful, resounding "no." Everyday, people living on the opposite end of the economic spectrum from me, set a wonderful example. Presently, I might ride the short bus to the "School of Generosity," but real soon, I'm hoping to join the Gifted and Talented program.

Tomorrow, the Universe asks me to think more about the economy and how that partially defines "home."